The Key to Success is Putting Your Heart and Soul Into Your Own Work Every Time.
The Importance of Setting Boundaries
Boundaries are very key in massage. Think about what is happening, the person is naked on a table with a sheet covering them. That action of getting on the table and being vulnerable is a sign of trust in us and what we do. So it is so important for us to set professional boundaries and be intentional with our service. Make sure they know why they chose us. A boundary is a line we draw that is not to be crossed, no matter what, by the client or therapist. That boundary should never be broken by either party and it’s important that we all know that. It’s also important to know the boundaries that the therapist and client have that are set by the law. So let’s dive right in.
- Drape – Drape is possibly the most important boundary because that sheet is the one thing that separates you from the client. And your draping style will determine to them if you are trustworthy or not. I will admit, I have not always had one hundred percent success rating, but I am working on bettering myself and learning. I have corrected my draping style a few times. I’ve been told I’m doing this wrong and to do it this way. Then that way got a complaint so I reverted back to the way I was most comfortable with. Honestly, with draping, you need to trust your instincts and comfort level to determine the way you feel comfortable. The style you feel most comfortable with will be dictated as your way. The client will see that and that will determine if they want to make you their permanent therapist. Trust in your work always.
- Clothing Boundary – It is so important that we recognize that the client is allowed to wear as many or as few clothes as they want during a massage. That is their boundary. Don’t request that they remove clothes or keep clothes on unless you know it is vital to the effectiveness of the massage. Either way can be misconstrued by them and that will hurt the experience. The fact that you are completely okay with whatever they want to wear or not wear shows trust in them and your knowledge. But if you instruct them with disrobing or wearing anything specific, that might sound strange to the client. Here’s what I usually say. “I will ask that you disrobe to your comfort level and get under this sheet that I have pulled aside slightly. I’m going to ask that you to lie face down starting out.” Then I would slide my hand under the sheet so there is absolutely no confusion where they should be. I am showing them I want them under the sheet for the full portion of the massage. Some people have been known to lie on top of the sheet and that can be common. But if you set that boundary and show that this is my personal boundary I am making, they will respect that. If they don’t, you have the right to dismiss the session at any time. I have had clients wear all their clothes and I don’t second guess it in the slightest. That is how they remain comfortable. Some people have a problem with nudity even if they are covered. That is perfectly fine. Here is what I would say if that happens. “I am perfectly fine with you wearing this, however, I feel you should know that if you do decide to wear this I will be going over the sheet because I don’t want to get oil on any clothing. Is that alright with you?” And if they say yes, go on with the massage dry over the sheet. If they want to remove something or an undergarment, dismiss yourself from the room setting a boundary for both of you, and return after a knock when they are under the sheet. Miscommunication happens more often than you think in a massage, we need to make sure everything is understood.
- Legal Rights – A massage can be the best massage of your life or it could be a terrifying ordeal. I have had both happen to me and I didn’t exercise my rights when receiving a massage and I felt the masseuse was getting too close. It was the first time I had ever had a massage in an asian spa setting and was not prepared for this massage. While the masseuse didn’t physically violate my boundary, it still felt very invasive. It made me very nervous and uncomfortable. If a client is uncomfortable with anything happening during the service, a certain fight or flight instinct can kick in that causes a shroud of silence. Massage should not feel that way. Massage should be a relaxing experience where you trust the one who is working on you. It should make your blood pressure go down, not rise. I’m glad the masseuse didn’t violate my boundary completely but it did feel very invasive. And it made me well aware of the kind of massages I would like to avoid. I want to let it be known that the therapist and the client both have rights to dismiss the massage at any time for any reason. If anyone feels uncomfortable, you have the right to dismiss the session. It can be for any reason, that is your legal right. Now, depending on when the massage is dismissed, payment may still be required. That is something that needs to be discussed with the front desk, manager, or the service provider themselves. But if at any time, either party feels uncomfortable, especially unsafe, you have the right to leave. If lets say the client stops the session in the middle and says they are leaving, then accept the outcome, leave the room so they can redress, and start work right away on your SOAP note so you can say what happened in the session exactly, just incase they are really unhappy and feel they want legal action. That would be a worst case scenario, but I have gotten very in my head where I thought that would happen because they didn’t enjoy the session or they left upset. You also, as the service provider, have the right to not work on them in the first place if you have a good reason. If there is a contraindication, meaning unsafe situation that could cause harm if massage is performed, of the bloodstream or nervous system and you just don’t feel comfortable working on them, you are absolutely able to say no to the client. I don’t care what the reason is, always trust your instincts, especially when it comes to the safety of your client. I’d rather disappoint a client in the intake than work on them and have something go wrong because I shouldn’t have worked on them. I one time dismissed a session in the intake because we really didn’t see eye to eye on things. Trust your gut always.